Oohs and Aahs for 1.24.25
Read my new essay for Insider!
I have happy news to share!
I saw Business Insider was looking for pitches on raising kids to be independent, and I thought I could offer a different perspective. My son is autistic, and while he has many strengths and talents, he often needs help with simple tasks. Everything from getting dressed to playing with friends can be a challenge. Since his diagnosis four years ago, I’ve learned from the disability community that independence is an illusion. The truth is we are all connected, and we all depend on each other for support, whether we acknowledge it or not. I want to live in a world that celebrates our interdependence, so while I’m teaching my son skills and cheering him on as he grows, I’m not pushing him to be independent. I’ve seen that when my son gets the support he needs, he can do more. I can’t do everything on my own, and I don’t expect my son to either. We all need support. We all deserve autonomy. Celebrating our interdependence is essential to our survival and our ability to thrive, and the best way to do that just happens to be with the help of others.
In the past, I’ve struggled with feeling like editors are looking for personal essays that emphasize our most painful experiences and struggles. While writing about personal challenges can be cathartic, sharing them publicly often feels exploitive, both to me and my family. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want to post 500 words on my deepest, darkest secrets just so strangers can tell me I’m doing life wrong. Nor do I want to tie a bow on the end of an essay that presents a flat, one-dimensional view of my life. So I was especially glad to write an essay that reflected my values, and I hope it will prompt the kind of conversation I’m more interested in having.
PS
If you’re looking for guidance on pitching and writing for national publications, I can’t recommend
’s Substack enough. Also so much of what I’ve learned from the disability community has come through Instagram, so I’m tagging some of my favorite disability accounts there if you’re looking for more neurodiverse affirming resources.This Week I’m…
Loving this true beginner’s guide to running for office 🙋♀️
Encouraging you to weave your values into your writing 💛
Reading this delightful mystery 📒
Listening to this episode about the overwhelm that can be caused by secret projects (An especially relevant topic for anyone who’s trying out the golden-notebook method this year!) 📆
Mesmerized by these toothbrushes 🪥
Thinking this could make a good NF picture book 🪨
Delighting in this peek into the process of carving picture books for blind children 🤩
Wondering if anyone wants to join me in submitting to Motley Bloom, a new magazine about neurodivergent living 🧠
Offering 50% off an hour of creative coaching with the Before You Begin Bundle only until 1/31🤓
Nebula Notebook is a place to meet kindred spirits, get inspired, and learn how to find ease and joy in the creative process—even when life is bananas. 🍌🍌🍌
✏️ PS—The fastest way to grow as a writer is to book a manuscript critique or a creative coaching session with an expert. My clients get agents, sell books, and win awards. They also learn how to enjoy the creative process, so they can keep going when life gets hard. 👏
I loved this piece and your thoughtful perspective on it. The idea that support and autonomy can go hand in hand is really beautiful ❤️
Heidi, this piece is so wonderful! I’m also someone who values independence and struggles to ask for help. I particularly connected with this part of your essay: “I've learned from the disability community that independence is an illusion. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, and often what appears to be independence requires someone else's oppression or exploitation. The truth is we are all connected, and we all depend on each other for physical and emotional support, whether we acknowledge it or not.”