Sticky Hands and Blank Notebooks: A Summer Guide for Creative Mothers

This is my first summer with a school-age child, and as with so many other stages of motherhood, I’m again in unfamiliar territory. Our son has worked so, so hard this year, and I’m really proud of how our family has supported him through challenges most kids don’t have to worry about. But I am desperate for a break, and while summer might seem like a time to relax and recharge, I’ll mostly be in mom mode. I’m not the first person to notice childcare options in the summer are less than ideal. Our current plan is to have a nanny come weekday afternoons, and I’ll handle the mornings. My husband’s schedule is more flexible in the summer, so he’ll help when eh can too. Every so often there will be OT and PT, and for five random weeks there will be 15 hours of summer school in the mix. (Nothing about this schedule says flow to me, but maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.) Whether you’re doing more childcare than usual or overseeing a jumble of schedule changes, your creative life will probably look different during the summer. Here are a few things I’m doing to keep my creativity alive this season.

Tend to Yourself

I don’t really have the luxury of taking a few days off to recharge or even going to the spa for a bit before diving into this next phase, although that sounds dreamy, but I can do tiny things to refresh. This week I trimmed my bangs, whitened my teeth, cleared off my desk, bought a new deck of oracle cards, and tried a new thing with my eyelashes. Tiny things! But honestly life giving. Plus maybe some extra highlights if I can find time! Is any of this absolutely necessary? Of course not. But I didn’t want the season to come and go without marking the occasion in some way. I’ve been feeling so ragged, and I just didn’t want to start the summer that way if I could help it. It is HARD to rest and make time for myself, not because I don’t believe in it, but because my time and attention is in high demand. But if I give up entirely, I go gray. If I don’t listen to the voice that tells me to get dressed and do my hair, I won’t be able to hear the voice that gives me new ideas. So let’s tend to ourselves in big and small ways, as best we can.

Plan What You Can

I live somewhere in between color-coded, time-blocked schedules and lets-all-just-chill-out-please. I need to know when my breaks are coming (hence the nanny). And I need to set up services that support our son. But I also don’t want to overcommit. I am hoping this summer’s lighter schedule will feel like a gift to all of us, but I’m worried it will leave me feeling even more depleted than usual. If you’re also feeling overwhelmed about the schedule, I recommend doing a brain dump of allllllll the things that you’re hoping to do this summer. House projects. Vacations. Camps. Play dates. Museum visits. Work projects. Everything. You can also make a list or journal a bit about what you hope this summer will look like. I’m looking forward to ice cream, watching the clouds drift by, reading novels, laughter, taking walks after the sun goes down, fireworks, cutting sunflowers, naps, and exhales. Our summer might not look just the way I want it to, and it will surely include many moments that are not on this list, but we can still manage these small pleasures. Just remembering that is reassuring to me. And staying open, looking for those moments, noticing, and celebrating when they happen can brighten the whole summer.

Prioritize Like a Mother

Once you have some clarity around all the things you would like to happen, I encourage you to choose one or two things to focus on. Notice and celebrate if the other items on your lists happen, but be prepared to let a lot go. When you choose a single project to work on at a time, you’re more likely to make progress, build momentum, and feel satisfied. My focus is on writing essays this summer. I would love to find time to paint and work on my picture book too, but only if I have extra time.

When an open moment arrives, be ready and know how you want to spend your time. If you can save yourself the angst of choosing and prioritizing in the moment, you can enjoy the break more easily, even if it’s just a few minutes. For me, the first thing I need to do whenever I get a spare moment is stretch. And maybe spritz something that smells good or give myself a tiny massage. I definitely need to close my eyes. Maybe even lie down. And just breathe for a second. Then I can decide between a nap, reading, writing, walking, lifting weights, or making a snack.

Collect Bits of Inspiration

It’s possible you’ll decide to put all your creative projects on hold for the summer. That’s ok too. You’re still a writer. You’re still a dancer. You’re still a maker. And time is never wasted. There’s power in pausing and coming back to something after you’ve had time to mull it over, recommit, and return with fresh energy. And you might get inspired when you least expect it. Try a new ice cream flavor. Choose your own song of the summer. Style your nightstand with a daisy. Read something you’ve never heard of. Learn everything there is to know about pickle ball. Inspiration is everywhere.

Daydream

I take a lot of comfort in my imagination. So often we’re taught that we’re not serious artists if we’re not producing or sharing our work in some way. But creative nourishment is also found in the visioning process, having an idea, playing with it, turning it around, and imagining it in the world. You might find spending more time in your mind paves the way for you to work more quickly when you return to your studio. Or you might find daydreaming satisfies and frees you up to create something else when you have more time. Daydreaming can also act as an escape hatch. I am all for being present with our kids, but I also know giving myself permission to imagine myself permission to imagine painting a mural, or even doing something less artsy and more violent, like destroying someplace I had a bad experience, can dull the ache of not being able to take action, or simply journal or talk to a friend. Using our imaginations in any way can be a balm and a practice that makes it easier to return to our art when we’re ready.

Look for Moments You Can Share Together

If you’re the kind of mom who can paint side by side with her kids, you probably stopped reading a few paragraphs back. If you’re still reading, you might be like me, and you’ve never really found your flow being creative with your kids. Beyond taking notes when we’re in the car or on a walk, it is highly unlikely I will ever get any work done with my son nearby. I don’t even find it relaxing to doodle if I think he’s going to interrupt me! But I have been able to enjoy myself when I let him take the lead in choosing the materials and the activity. If he’s interested in building something tall, I’ll build my own thing focusing on colors. If he’s into making Play Doh noodles, I’ll experiment with wrapping the tools in dough or building little abstract sculptures. (I’m having a real negative-space moment with my Play Doh work right now.) If my son wants to do sidewalk chalk, I’ll try making as many different marks as I can think of. If he is interested in numbers, we might just make up a game or a funny song about numbers. Any time I have a new idea or get lost in the process, I count that as a creative moment. It feels surprisingly rewarding, like I’m an art ninja, sneaking my own joy into the daily grind.

Choose a Mantra for the Summer

Any time we are caring for our families without breaks, even if it’s just over a three-day weekend, it can feel like it will last forever. I am constantly reminding myself that everything changes, and as soon as we get used to the summer routine, it will be time to start school again. When I feel the pressure, I choose a mantra and make a new wallpaper for my phone. Lately my mantras are “There’s plenty of time” and “My experience matters too.” And I’m constantly asking myself what can I do to make this feel a tiny bit better. Drink a big glass of water? Lie down during quiet time? Could I listen to a song while I get ready? Stretch for 5 minutes? Or what about taking a few extra minutes to actually do my hair? While I’m deep in motherhood, I’m practicing asking myself, “What is actually in reach and might make me feel better?” And then I do it.

What do your summer plans look like? Share in the comments so we can cheer each other on. And if you found this guide inspiring, please share it with a friend.