Noha Beshir: Making Up for Lost Time

How much time do you get to work on creative projects?

Honestly, not very much! Between full time work as an IT analyst, keeping house, and my kids activities and extra-curriculars, there are a lot of days I don’t find any time at all. Starting my Substack this past summer was a way to keep myself accountable to having a regular “creative schedule” so that if nothing else, I will write something twice a week, usually for an hour or so. The amazing thing is that since I’ve started that, I’ve found myself thinking creatively more often. I have a note on my iPhone for writing and since I’ve started publishing regularly, I find myself getting inspiration, adding to it daily. Those snippets often turn into pieces a little later.

How did motherhood change your creative practice?

I’m always pretty embarrassed about the honest answer to this one, but at the same time, I feel like there must be others like me who’d be grateful to hear it, so I’ll tell the truth. Motherhood initially wiped out my creative practice, almost to zero. I read about moms who popped out babies and seemingly got up and painted a masterpiece, or wrote an award-winning novel on their maternity leave. I am not one of those moms. I found that if I could keep myself and the baby fed, that took up whatever physical energy I had. I did spend a lot of time reading novels while nursing my first baby, but by the time the second little guy came along, the first one was nearly three and he did not want me holding a book or an e-reader while I was looking after his brother. His favourite words as a young child were, “Mama look”. His little brother also didn’t sleep until he was nearly 4, so that turned me into a bit of a vegetable too.
When I went back to work, people would ask – in passing – how I was doing, and I’d corner them and complain about how exhausted I was, and how sleep deprivation was torture.

So, for many years I was on auto-pilot, just trying to get through the day, consuming a bit of culture but not creating. Even what I consumed went from books to TV shows to scrolling social media. I did have blips of creativity where I started a blog or wrote in a journal but that would inevitably fizzle out.

And the guilt I felt about my loss of creativity was so toxic! I was so ashamed of losing this part of me that was so central to my identity that I kept trying to force it, but it wouldn’t come. I finally made myself a deal: I would wait until my youngest was 10, and then I’d try to write again. And wouldn’t you know it - this last spring, when he was nine and a half, I felt my creative juices starting to flow again, and I started my newsletter. I feel like I’m making up for lost time now!

How does art enrich your life? How does being a mother enrich your art?

In so many ways! Reading something beautiful, watching a well-written, well-acted television show, hearing a beautiful song, these are the things that add colour and beauty to my life. The day-to-day can be very mechanical if you don’t add some of that magic to it. I’m a very practical person and if I don’t stop myself, I go on autopilot to get through the to-do list, and then I start feeling awful but I can’t quite pinpoint why I’m feeling that way. Art and worship are the two techniques I use to keep me present and mindful in the space and time I’m occupying. Looking for beauty, appreciating connection, and then thanking God for it.

Motherhood enriches my writing by giving me so much material! Children, especially young children, are such perfect little illustrations of the struggles and the emotions all humans feel, but they’re so transparent about it. Everyone wants to be loved, to be important, to be in control, but children don’t have the filter yet to mask those wants. And they ask so much of you! Small kids don’t care if you haven’t slept in days. They want to go to the park! Or watch Barney! Or eat strawberries! Most of my writing from the kids’ early years is about something or other that one of them has said or done that exposes something deeper about the human condition. As they get older, I’m a lot more aware of not sharing them with the world without their permission. So my writing isn’t so child-centric anymore, but they still inspire a great deal of what I eventually put into words.

Who would you love to collaborate with? What’s a dream project for you?

Probably Ann Patchett or Elamin Abdelmahmoud. I’ve been a huge fan of Ann’s since I read Bel Canto over 20 years ago, and her creative non-fiction is as impeccably written as her fiction. For Elamin Abdelmahmoud, his creative non-fiction touches on topics that are very relatable to me. He has a gorgeous essay about how he chose his daughter’s name. It perfectly captures what parents of minority kids have to consider for their children, how to balance the belonging you want them to have with their peers with the weight of their heritage and their identity. And his memoir, Son of Elsewhere, describes his life as Sudanese immigrant to Kingston, Ontario in Canada, a very white town, and the grappling with this new Black identity that was foisted on him. I’m a second generation Canadian of Egyptian descent. I’ve been so fortunate not to be exposed to the same level of racism as my Black brothers and sisters, but I have endured a fair amount of racism as an Arab, and Islamophobia as a Muslim. My dream project is to write my memoir of growing up an Arab, Muslim girl in Ottawa, Canada, and to capture what that really is for people like me, and for others who don’t know.

I would also love to write a sweeping multi-generational novel of an Egyptian, Muslim family in Canada. I haven’t written a lot of fiction lately, so the memoir is probably the one that I’ll work on first.

What’s inspiring you outside of your own genre?

I love heartfelt comedy that speaks to the deeper questions in life. I’m a very silly person in my day-to-day and I love to laugh, but my writing tends not to be comedic. So reading someone else’s stuff that touches on that humour is always inspiring to me. But not slapstick. I’m more into comedy that explores relationships and human connection. There’s a great radio program that was on the air in Canada for years called The Vinyl Cafe. It followed this fictional Toronto family through all sorts of hi-jinks. I would listen to it whenever I was in the car. The show host, and writer, Stuart McLean, was a Canadian treasure. Sadly, he died a few years ago of cancer.

I’m also inspired by well-researched sociology, tech, or science pieces that manage to link their topics to human connection. My favourite podcast for years was Reply-All, a show about everything on the internet. Another favourite that’s now defunct was NPR’s Invisibila, exploring fascinating but not-obvious phenomena. All my favourite programs are done, though. I need to find a new one.

Read Noha’s piece “Degrees of Freedom” for Maisonneuve here.

What do you do when you feel burnt out or filled with doubt?

I pray. I talk to God. In my childhood, I perceived religion as a series of rules and regulations. As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that there’s so much more to it and it can bring me comfort and reassurance. The other thing I do is phone a friend – usually, it’s one of my sisters – and work through whatever’s stressing me or upsetting me. I think we live in a culture that values productivity above connection, doing over being. And I’m a product of that culture, so I tend to go go go until I burn out. But I’m trying to spend time being and not just rush off to the next thing and the next thing after that. I have a lot of de-training to do.

What’s your favorite super easy creative practice to do when you’re looking for fresh ideas?

Read someone else’s writing! Sometimes a book is too daunting, but there’s lots of creative non-fiction out there that takes almost no time to read. I love essays on Brevity Mag and

Literary Mama

. I’m also really enjoying a few different Substack newsletters these days. Reading other people’s writing gives me new ideas, or just reminds of a different take I have on topics they’re exploring.

If you could give everyone a small treat, what would it be?

Not sure if this is small enough but I’d send everyone for a massage! I’ve dealt with chronic back pain since I was 14 and a good massage is so incredibly therapeutic for me. And if you mean small, I adore oat fudge bars! Starbucks had a great one but they’ve discontinued it, much to my disappointment.

If you had a free hour, how would you spend it? What about a free day?

A free hour is likely spent at a coffee shop, reading and people watching, and writing if something inspires me. I love sitting in coffee shops. I don’t know if it’s the ambiance, or the fact that if I’m there, I can’t be cooking or doing laundry! There’s something about it that just relaxes me.

 A free day! What a luxury! I’m probably going for a long, languid bike ride along the river, taking my computer and a book with me, and finding a coffee shop at the other end to spend a couple of hours in. If winter’s kicked in and I’m not cycling anymore, I’m cross country skiing, or finding a trail through the woods, and then heading to the coffee shop. I love water. I love being next to a body of water. It clears my mind better than anything else.

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Noha Beshir

is an IT professional by day, writer by night. Born and raised in Ottawa, Canada, she loves the outdoors and the water.  She lives with her husband, her 13 and 10 year old boys, and their rabbit, Bilbo. In her free time, you can find her cycling with her boys, walking in the woods, or reading in a cafe. Noha writes primarily about motherhood, mental health, faith, and the immigrant experience. You can find her online at her Substack or on X or Facebook.

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Hi! I’m Heidi. Writer. Editor. Mother. I’m interviewing 100 creative mothers, because I believe the more we see other mothers making beauty and meaning in small moments, the more we will be inspired to make our own kind of art, whatever that may look like during this intense season of life. Support the project by sharing with a friend.