Nelly Bryce: Noticing the Poetry

Did you think of yourself as a creative kid? What does creativity look like for you these days?

You know what, I didn’t. But I definitely was in hindsight. I had a compulsive need to write and tell stories, loved art and kept a diary/creative journal/scrapbook for most of my teens.

It has only been since motherhood that I think I would call myself a creative person. It wasn’t until I stepped away from the corporate world for my first maternity leave that I found myself craving creative projects. Of course you don’t have the time you think you’ll have on maternity leave (if you are lucky enough to get one) but I seemed to have this new spaciousness and desire. Stepping away from the work treadmill left me feeling very lost but asking myself the question, “who am I now?” led me to look further than the job title from my next promotion and down some beautiful new and far more creative paths. I started writing poetry to try and make sense of my world and support my slightly fragile mental health and I remember attempting to learn dressmaking with one hand whilst rocking a pram with my other (never did master that).

I’ve read, and read a lot about creativity nowadays. And it is something far more fluid and giving. Far more available. And far less judgmental. It turns up in snippets of poems that I write on my phone, every time I sit down to journal and when I am willing to have a go with a paintbrush with my daughter, even though I know the end result might not exactly please me.

I have a good relationship with it and am often found writing about how grateful I am for it in my journal at night, ha, that sounds a bit geeky.

How did motherhood change your creative practice?

I find my creativity everywhere nowadays. I am more creative than I have ever been despite having less time available right now for creative projects.

I used to get frustrated about this, and honestly, sometimes I still do. But I have also learnt that creativity can arrive at any point, when I am running a bath or wiping yoghurt off someone’s cheeks. You just have to make yourself available to it. Plus, childcaring is inherently creative. Partly because kids are inherently creative and will enthusiastically ask you to join them in their imaginations, often pushing you out of your comfort zone with their magical outlook on the world. But also because navigating life with a family is the ultimate in creative problem solving – logistics, shifting family dynamics, cutting sandwiches into star shapes, it’s constant.

I suppose in the most obvious sense of the word, I’ve had to learn to be far more flexible with how and where I write. I can be in the middle of a brilliant piece of writing in my room and have had to learn to take a deep breath when my four year old bundles over and climbs on my knee. 

When do you feel most creative?

In the morning, after meditating, journaling and drinking my first cup of coffee. I have about an hour after that where time stops still and I’ll lose myself entirely in editing a poem or writing an essay. That said, sometimes I’ll be somewhere random with some friends and I’ll get the beginnings of three or four poems in a flurry. I suppose it is anywhere that I am switched on to noticing and switched off from the busyness of life. Noticing is often the biggest challenge for me.

How would you like the world to see artists and mothers?

I’d like the world to see mothers AS artists. I’d like more art created by mothers. I’d like more art about motherhood as an experience (because it is such a varied and interesting experience, hence why I am loving being involved in this project!) I’d like more exploration of the challenges that mothers face in producing art, not in terms of their capability (which I personally think is amplified by motherhood) but with regards to physical and mental support.  

I think there is always a balance to be found between mothers as individuals taking back our power in order to prioritise and embrace our own creativity, for all the reasons that creativity matters and we matter. I love seeing people dispelling the myth that motherhood means an end (or even a pause) of creative practise. It might mean an evolving, or an adjusting for a time, but it is in no way an end. 

But likewise I think it is important to acknowledge that in a patriarchal society it can be harder for mothers to make art. After all, how many fathers do you find answering the question of how they manage to write or perform after having a baby?

So I am always keen to stress that if mothers find this challenging, they’re not alone. There’s a poem in my book (motherhood minus the medals) called Not Your Fault which stresses this point and whenever I share it it seems to strike a chord. We shouldn’t feel guilty or blame ourselves if we can’t find time to take up a creative hobby, for example, or find our creative work is slower than before, because we know that women are still doing the majority of the housework, caring etc. This needs to be acknowledged and challenged, whilst at the same time doing what we can to honour our own needs and tapping into our own creativity and shouting about the amazing art that women are creating, despite the additional hurdles. Can you even imagine what could be possible with some more support?

Mothers are doing SUCH an important job raising the future and so more than ever deserve to experience the benefits of a regular creative practise. When I run my monthly journaling sessions, the majority of us are mothers, and there is such a relief and shared appreciation of taking the time out of our lives to just write. To play. To get curious. I’m quite passionate about this, you probably gathered! 

What’s your favorite super easy creative practice to do when you’re looking for fresh ideas?

Stop trying so hard to find fresh ideas and do something completely different for a bit.

How can we support and encourage each other more?

Constantly reminding each other that creating good art is work, as valuable and important as the other types of ‘work’ that many of us were brought up to believe matters more. 

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Nelly Bryce is a writer, poet and mother of four from Manchester, UK. She has four children who are 12, 10, 8 and 4. She published her first book of poetry during lockdown (Motherhood Minus the Medals) and runs journaling workshops for women who want to get sh*t down on the page. Follow her on Substack and visit her on Instagram at @nellythewriter and @guiltymothersclub.

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Hi! I’m Heidi. Writer. Editor. Mother. I’m interviewing 100 creative mothers, because I believe the more we see other mothers making beauty and meaning in small moments, the more we will be inspired to make our own kind of art, whatever that may look like during this intense season of life. Support the project by sharing with a friend.