Jess Moran: Shifting with the Seasons

What did you use to do during recess?

I was a loner. You would often find me with a book or notebook of my own stories in hand, curled up somewhere on the playground. There is a memory that stands out where I had a scripted version of an American Girl book - Samantha, I think - and I cast it with girls in my class. We never performed it, but it makes me smile to think of my shy self pursuing the idea at all.

How did motherhood change your creative practice?

I had to relearn everything I thought I knew about creativity when I became a mother. Suddenly the great expanses of time I was used to having, especially alone, vanished. With 3 younglings underfoot now, it’s even rarer. Not only have I needed to redefine the practice of creativity, I’ve had to rewrite its appearance in my life. There are days I create alongside my children - we paint (messily), read aloud, get into nature and describe what we see. Others I create as they play - kneading bread dough to the soundtrack of lip bubble car vrooms and dinosaur roars, writing down a few lines at time on my phone or open laptop on the kitchen counter, or muddying my hands in the garden as they dig elsewhere. Then there are the fringe moments - they are early risers, and as I am also a morning person I find myself up at 4am to steal a bit of the day just for me. I may be folding laundry, listening to an audiobook or planning for the day ahead, but I also read, write, move my body in a yoga practice, or work on a course I signed up for. Creativity, I have learned, doesn’t need to be a rigid set of motions but rather a seasonal rhythm. Just as my body changes with age, as my soul feels differently in spring versus winter, my creative practices and space for them shift, too.

When do you feel most creative?

Oftentimes when I am alone. I am a deep feeler and thinker, usually pondering something or other, and having the space for that is a lovely feeling. It is also tied to my monthly cycles, a practice I learned a lot about from writer Nicole Gulotta. When I remember, I track the moon’s phase in conjunction with my cycle, and note how the stirrings in my mind or body. At certain points, usually immediately after my period, I am full of energy and a zest to organize, plan, and buzz about. At other points, I feel myself withdraw to a more internal, pensive space. It is here I often write - the threads I have trouble reaching are more obvious to me, and the words or the feelings accessible. I think the other piece is when I am messy! Give me a pair of gardening gloves, or a flour-covered apron (if I remember to put one on), or mucky hiking boots and I am blissfully happy. Using my body unlocks a lot for me, perhaps it is a release of the humongous amount of things I have inside most of the time.

How does art enrich your life? How does being a mother enrich your art?

A couple of years ago I realized I didn’t intentionally surround myself with things of beauty. Before kids I had my “tchotchkes” laying around - little thrifted items that brought me happiness or comfort, but I had moved most of them out of reach into my bedroom or in boxes. I started finding places for them again. Books are always a thing of art for me. I enjoy displaying them on shelves or in stacks, wherever I can. Music deeply impacts me and my mindset, so when I’m not playing endless songs about trucks or trains, I throw on acoustic Indie, instrumental cello, Brandi Carlile, or even Billy Joel, depending on my mood. As a mother, my art is an undercurrent always tugging me, but not always visible. Having children has taught me to not keep it hidden on purpose. My kids can instead bear witness to its evolution. They see me reading, sharing things of beauty, scrambling to write a thought down, putting thoughtful touches into our home and daily life, observing nature’s gifts. I think motherhood has deepened my sense of spontaneity and whimsy, but also my sense of acceptance with creativity’s pursuit of me - and my desperate need for its presence.

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Jess Moran is the mother of 3 wildlings ages 5, 3.5, and 20 months. She is a writer, a baker, and attempt-at-a-garden maker. You will often find her curled up in a couch corner she’s claimed with stacks of books around her, coffee in hand, or out in the fresh air, muddied with her boys. You can also find her @habitualwhimsy on Instagram or here on Substack at The Meaningful Glow. This is one of her favorite pieces.

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Hi! I’m Heidi. Writer. Editor. Mother. I’m interviewing 100 creative mothers, because I believe the more we see other mothers making beauty and meaning in small moments, the more we will be inspired to make our own kind of art, whatever that may look like during this intense season of life. Support the project by sharing with a friend.