Jennifer McCaffrey: Painting After Work

Did you think of yourself as a creative kid? What did you do for fun?

This is a great question! I’m one of those classic firstborns, and generally wanted to do everything per-fect-ly. Growing up, I loved anything that had me working with my hands, but definitely approached it as an opportunity to excel technically and exert a sense of control over my world. The arts were my favorite place to do that: ballet, piano, and writing were huge parts of my life all through high school. I don’t think I really took any creative risks or felt that bubbling up of inventive freedom until college, when I took a dance choreography class coupled with an improv class. All of a sudden my technical prowess wasn’t the important part, and I shocked myself with how I actually LIKED the messy, weird stuff as much as the controlled, polished parts.

How much time do you get to work on creative projects?

I have a hybrid working/parenting life right now. My three days per week of childcare gets divvied up between my PRN job as a surgical Physician Assistant a few days a month and painting the rest. This is a new-ish rhythm for me… I was previously painting on the dining room table after the kids went to bed!

When do you feel most creative?

Somehow, I find myself always hitting my flow state in late afternoon and then getting jostled out of it by the daycare pickup alarm. I need to figure out how to be one of those people who can dive into the creative part of the day without checking my inbox first!

What’s inspiring you outside of your own genre?

I love Kate Baer’s poetry, as well as anything Padraig O’Tuama recites on his Poetry Unbound podcast. I’m also a huge fan of any kind of music that makes me feel feelings, and go from classical to country to folk while I’m in the studio. In my former (college) life I was a dancer, and I love, LOVE any opportunity to think about movement and shapes in dance and in paint.

How would you like the world to see artists and mothers?

I find so much companionship between the two. On my best days, nurturing the artist in myself with kindness is an act of mothering. I get the same kind of hope thinking about the growth my art will have throughout my lifetime as I do thinking about my kids getting older and emerging into different versions of themselves. As a mother, wow. I’d love for the world to see us as valuable.

What do you do when you feel burnt out or filled with doubt?

Honestly? I remind myself that two years ago, I wasn’t painting at all. And that even my worst, most embarrassing attempts are absolutely a gift to be able to make. There is always a very earnest ugly stage in making a painting for me – a part that I feel completely unsure about, that I look at and question why the heck I convinced myself I could do this thing. I’ve learned to stop looking at the painting, to go get some fresh oxygen to my brain, and to come back with new eyes later rather than pushing through in the name of efficiency. It’s almost never actually productive, and I find that when I try to paint for the whole day I often make something that feels flat and forced.

As for doubt: someone told me, when I was contemplating scaling back on my healthcare hours to make more art, to think about the 80-year-old version of myself and to make her proud. And I can say with confidence that 80-year-old me is delighted that I’m making any art at all, that I’m loving my kids the best way I can, that I’m finding my soul fed in my creative practice in the process. When I start doubting myself, its usually because my brain is straying into unhealthy goals and comparison territory. 80-year-old me is my map back to what is actually important.

If you could give everyone a small treat, what would it be?

An absolutely guilt-free nap. No time limit. Then a lovely hot cup of earl grey tea.

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As a former dancer, capturing movement is the overarching theme in Jennifer’s work, and her aim in any piece is to create something that feels alive. She first studied art at Wake Forest University, and went on to work in healthcare while painting in every spare moment she could find. She found that she couldn’t not paint, even when she had very little margin in my life, and is grateful to be pursuing art today in a way that feeds that passion. Apart from painting, she work as a surgical Physician Assistant, is the mother of three kids ages 6, 4, and 2, a runner, and a music lover. Like most Bendites, when she’s not in the studio, she is usually out somewhere with poor cell reception taking in the beauty of Central Oregon. Find her online at www.jennifermccaffrey.com, at the Stacks Studios and Art Gallery—see originals, prints, and peek inside her studio, or say hello on Instagram @jennifermccaffreyart.

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Nebula Notebook is a place to meet kindred spirits, get inspired, and learn how to find ease and joy in the creative process—even when life is bananas. 🍌🍌🍌

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