Jeannie Ewing: Writing to Save Your Life

Did you think of yourself as a creative kid?

Yes. I have always been an artist. In elementary school, I spent all of my free time drawing, painting, reading, writing, and listening to music. Visual art was my first love, maybe because I received so much validation for it. I remember sketching an image of the Virgin Mary holding baby Jesus and submitting it to a schoolwide contest for the cover art of our school’s Christmas program. I won. My mom told me people gushed over the art, but what I remember is feeling shocked that I won. As an introvert, I preferred to keep to myself. I only entered the contest at the encouragement of my parents.

Art was fun for me. Art was my life. When I dipped a brush in paint and swept it across watercolor paper, I felt free. My mind sort of shut off, and I could allow it to wander wherever it wanted. The sense of calm washed over me, and I was transported into another world. Creating new worlds through short stories, or putting on paper what I imagined in my head, allowed me to share my natural sense of wonder and curiosity about the world and all the possibilities that might come true for me. I honestly believed that when I was a child—that anything was possible. Sounds corny, but I believed it. By the time I discovered creative writing, I opted to focus on wordsmithing instead of pencil sketches and watercolor paintings. No regrets.

Photograph by Steven Haddaway

How does art enrich your life? How does being a mother enrich your art?

I never run out of stories. As a mom of five kids, ranging from age five to almost fifteen, there is always something interesting or challenging happening in our home. Our daughter Sarah, who was born with a rare genetic condition called Apert syndrome, has taught me so much about myself and about what it means to treat all people with dignity and kindness—to never assume, to check my prejudices and assumptions, to err on the side of patience and form a thoughtful reply to someone instead of blurting an insensitive remark.

Writing has salvaged pieces of myself that I would have otherwise forgotten during my childbearing years. Ten, to be exact. I ended up rotating between diapers and baby bottles and extra loads of laundry and extra cleaning for a long, long time, and due to the chronic sleep deprivation, it seems as if several years of my life simply vanished while I was trying to keep up with infants and toddlers and small children with disabilities.

'Pretty' isn't usually used to describe my daughter.

At one point, about five years ago, I wanted my life to be over. I did not have the means or a plan to end it, because I felt that life could not possibly get any better and, in fact, continued to worsen with each passing day: very little outside help with childcare and housecleaning and meal prep. I was doing it all, or most of it (with my husband’s help when he was home from work), and I burned out. Writing saved me then. I journaled furiously on a daily basis, simply as a way to put on the page all that did not make sense to me, all of my rage and pain and powerlessness. Writing empowered me, gave me a voice when no one would listen, when I felt small and insignificant to the world.

Photograph by Joy Main

What do you do when you feel burnt out or filled with doubt?

Well, this happens to me often. I am prone to depression due to family history that predisposes me, so doubt comes knocking quite often for me. It happens when I feel ignored, when I receive literary rejections, when I am overlooked for a collaborative project. Here’s what I do: I take screenshots of the affirmations and words of encouragement from my readers. Then, I record them in a spiral notebook. When I am feeling especially discouraged or want to quit my creative writing, I open to a random page and read what someone has told me about how my writing impacted them, influenced or changed them, uplifted them.

How can we support and encourage each other more?

Here’s what I love to do: I love to celebrate other creative people. Since I focus exclusively on interactions via Substack, I am gratuitous in sharing other authors’ essays, or an excerpt from a Note that resonated with me. I refer one author to another, when I notice they have overlapping interests or write about similar themes. And what I always do after reading a book is first, leave a review on Amazon. Then, I send the link to my Amazon review to the author. (I find the author’s contact information on their website or by messaging them on Substack.) Included with the link, I briefly introduce myself and offer a concrete and positive way the writer’s book impacted me. Sometimes—more than once, in fact—this sparks further conversation and even connections with other authors. I have built a couple of friendships this way. What most readers don’t realize is that reviews are magic for authors. They point potential readers to an author’s book, if the review is positive, and they contribute to the number that feeds algorithms for featuring an author’s book. Plus, every author wants to know that their message or story made a difference in someone’s life. That never gets old. When you focus on what you value and appreciate about others in your life, you’re spreading a very simple principle of kindness.

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Jeannie Ewing is a published author with a background in school counseling who writes and speaks about grief in motherhood, reclamation of one’s identity in midlife, existential ambivalence, giving ourselves permission to be human, and holding space for our tender needs. She lives with her husband Ben and five kids: Felicity (14), Sarah (12), Veronica (7), Joey (6), and Auggie (5). She can be found on her website or on Substack.

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Nebula Notebook is a place to meet kindred spirits, get inspired, and learn how to find ease and joy in the creative process—even when life is bananas. 🍌🍌🍌

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✏️ PS—The fastest way to grow as a writer is to book a manuscript critique or a creative coaching session with an expert. My clients get agents, sell books, and win awards. They also learn how to enjoy the creative process, so they can keep going when life gets hard. 👏