Dacy Gillespie: Finding Your Style

Did you think of yourself as a creative kid? What does creativity look like for you these days?

I really didn’t, and most of the time, I still don’t think of myself as a creative person. I mostly thought I wasn’t creative because I couldn’t draw very well and couldn’t invent things out of thin air. I always needed inspiration and something to work from. Of course, when I look back, I actually was creative - I was constantly rearranging my room, coming up with decor ideas, decoupaging, and trying to make things I’d read about in stories, like the box covered with tissue paper that Francie makes in A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I also loved to write and was the editor of my high school newspaper. Ironically, I began playing classical music when I was 10 and got a bachelor’s and master’s degree in performance before freelancing as an orchestral musician for 15 years. Everyone assumes that that’s a creative field, but often you’re just executing someone else’s artistic vision.

These days, creativity most often takes the form of working in or on my business, writing, and getting dressed. My work itself is creative, helping guide my clients to their authentic personal style. I get to translate the stories they tell me into a visual representation of their style and then implement that image through the clothes I find for them. I’ve started to add color to my own wardrobe over the last year and that has become its own artistic project. I also love decorating my house. My Substack newsletter, unflattering, is where most of my creative ideas about style get worked out.

How much time do you get to work on creative projects?

The answer to this question is so different from what it was 5 years ago, when I was starving for creative time, or just time alone, period. These days, I have the hours that my kids are in school, but I’m not able to sustain creative work for seven hours, so I usually work for about 5 and then try to rest before the tornado that is my children spins back into my home.

How did motherhood change your creative practice?

Motherhood was a shock to my system in so many ways. I’d started my business right around the time I got pregnant with my first child. Prior to that, I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted! If an idea struck, I could drop everything and work on it, and if I was hyper focused on it, I could work however long I wanted. That came to an immediate halt when I had kids. Especially for the first few years (we didn’t have any regular childcare for either of my children until they were about 2), it felt like my time (and often my body) was not my own. If I had an idea, I couldn’t act on it, and I could only hope that I’d be able to get to pen and paper or phone to make a note of it so I wouldn’t forget it. I couldn’t work when I was feeling inspired. Time when someone else was watching and feeding my child/ren wasn’t guaranteed, and often if I got it, I was too exhausted to use that time for a creative pursuit. For any new or expecting mothers out there, it does get better! First we had some time when they went to preschool, and eventually came the euphoric day when both children were in school full time. After recovering from early parenthood and early parenthood through a pandemic, eventually my creative flow returned.

What helps you make time and space for being creative? How do you avoid burn out?

I need time and space to be creative and I have to make it for myself. A few times a year, I’ll either travel somewhere with a friend or just go to a hotel in my own town for a couple of days. My mental health and creativity really suffer if I don’t have a few full days where I only have to think about myself and can mentally leave everyone else’s needs behind.

What do you do when you feel burnt out or filled with doubt?

See above ;) Also, getting off the internet and social media, comparison is really dangerous for me. Journaling sometimes will connect me back with my purpose. I also have a folder of emails and screenshots of nice things people have said to me/about me which reminds me that I might not be for everyone, but there are a few people out there I’ve really helped.

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As a weight inclusive, anti-diet personal stylist, Dacy Gillespie helps her clients reject fashion rules and ideal standards of beauty imposed by the patriarchy, white supremacism, and capitalism so that they can uncover their authentic style. After a lifetime of jobs in high-stress careers that didn’t suit her highly-sensitive, introverted personality, Dacy started mindful closet in 2013 in an attempt to create a more emotionally sustainable lifestyle. Her work has been featured in Forbes, Real Simple, New York Magazine’s The Strategist, and Lifehacker, and she is a frequent podcast guest. Dacy lives with her husband and two children (ages 6 and 10) in St. Louis, Missouri. You can find her on Instagram, visit her website themindfulcloset.com, or follow her here on Substack:

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Nebula Notebook is a place to meet kindred spirits, get inspired, and learn how to find ease and joy in the creative process—even when life is bananas. 🍌🍌🍌

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✏️ PS—The fastest way to grow as a writer is to book a manuscript critique or a creative coaching session with an expert. My clients get agents, sell books, and win awards. They also learn how to enjoy the creative process, so they can keep going when life gets hard. 👏