Caroline Milby: Writing Mom Bops

What did you use to do during recess?

I was born in Alabama and they did not have tetherball at the elementary school playground where I lived. When we moved to Texas I learned what tetherball was and it was my favorite thing to do on the playground from ages 9 to 11. There is something so cathartic about just whacking that thing as hard as you can.

Did you think of yourself as a creative kid? What does creativity look like for you these days?

I did, I use to write stories and poems and my mom always told me I preferred a plain sheet of paper to color on, as opposed to a pre-lined coloring book. These days I’ve replaced poetry and coloring with songwriting. It’s similar. Every song starts as a blank sheet of paper. 

How did motherhood change your creative practice?

It has made me conquer my fear of being seen solo. I feel safer being creative in groups, which is why I was in bands and did musical theatre up until a few years ago. When you have kids, though, you become tied to their schedules.  It didn’t work for me to also be tied to a group rehearsal schedule, often in the evenings. It was really scary but I started playing and performing on my own, because I could practice on my own time and without leaving my house. 

How does art enrich your life? How does being a mother enrich your art?

I do not feel fully alive unless I have some outlet for creative performance, whether it be theatre or music.  The longest I’ve ever gone without a performance outlet in my life is two years. That’s happened twice. The last time it happened was 2020-2022. In February 2022 I called my friend and told her she was in a band now because I HAD to have something to sing. We started performing covers as a duo, which then gave me the confidence to also perform originals solo.

As to being a mother, there was a depth and dimension of feeling (particularly in the compassion and empathy arena) that I was not able to access until I had kids. It’s like a whole other piece of my soul burst open and seeped into everything and everyone in existence. I found that being inextricably connected to these new humans strengthened my sense of connectedness to the whole planet. It's great for art, because I have so much more emotional range and material to work with now.

Who would you love to collaborate with? What’s a dream project for you?

I was in a band called Weird Hot in Philadelphia for about five years, until it disbanded. We then moved to Atlanta for my husband’s job. My former bandmembers are still family to me and our lead guitarist and bassist can be heard playing on my new tracks, which we were able to facilitate through the internet. However, I miss being in the same room as them. I don’t think it’s likely that our family will end up back in Philadelphia, but my dream is to reassemble them for a tour!

What’s inspiring you outside of your own genre?

I love history and I love antiques. There is an antique fair every month in Atlanta that I love to go to just to walk around. It is in a giant convention center filled with the most beautiful furniture, housewares, jewelry and random knick knacks.  I’m not exactly sure how taking it all in feeds me creatively, but it definitely does.

What’s your favorite super easy creative practice to do when you’re looking for fresh ideas?

For whatever reason, my creative juices turn on when I am submerged in water! In astrology, I have no water in my chart—I am triple fire. An astrologer once told me I need to make sure to balance myself with lots of water, and I’ve found that I write great lyrics in the bath, and obviously my singing reaches new heights in the shower!

How can we support and encourage each other more?

I think the most important thing any of us can do is to spend time in different places with people who have different backgrounds and opinions than we do. The more we are exposed to different types of people, the more we realize that we’re all the same. Every single person wants the same three things: safety, connection and freedom. We all have different ideas of how best to achieve those things, but we’re all fundamentally working towards the same goals.

What do you hope your kids will learn about creativity from you?

That it is possible! I feel adamant about not steering my kids in a particular career direction based on my own limiting beliefs about what is possible and practical. The world is a magical place, I’ve worked to regain that sense, but kids see it instinctively. I don’t want them to ever lose that.

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Caroline Milby is a writer, songwriter and singer from Atlanta, Georgia. She has two kids, ages five and four, and when she is not playing Candyland with them, she is writing and releasing timeless synth pops under the name Carrie Stardust, and vulnerable mom bops under the name Maudlin Housewife. She also writes a Substack about overcoming self-imposed creative limitations. You can also find her on Instagram @carriestardust. Her latest track, The Underside, is out for streaming everywhere on June 7.

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