Anna Rollins: Writing Your Way Through the Tedium

How did motherhood change your creative practice?

Motherhood made me a writer. Before I became a mom, I studied writing in university, and I taught composition. I'd always wanted to be a writer, but I was also very scared to say anything I actually cared about. I was very afraid of being seen. And I had some awareness of how many other writers were better than me. I was incredibly self-critical. So I funneled my love of literature toward teaching and reading voraciously. This lasted for probably a decade -- and I don't regret this. These activities made me a better writer. But after giving birth to my first son, I felt enclosed, shut off from the world, and bored by the tedious rhythms of newborn life. I wanted to create. And I wanted to stimulate myself. At first, I started writing again simply to feel less bored. I began writing in a notebook with a cup of coffee either before my son woke in the morning, or while he napped. I usually only wrote for 10-15 minutes, but I did it consistently, every weekday. I let myself write whatever I felt drawn to. I gave myself no rules. I just had to show up for a tiny sliver of time. It was enough. This made me a writer. 

Tell us about a day in your life, how do you fit in creative moments? 

Today, I have two sons -- one in preschool, the other in first grade -- and I am six months pregnant with my daughter. I teach classes at a university in town, and I direct the Writing Center there. On days where I am working, I will often sneak in writing time during office hours (whenever my students do not stop by to visit me). Or, I will squeeze in a half-hour before school pickup, or a little bit while my sons watch Pokemon. I have to get creative with it. I make writing a priority, but I don't necessarily prioritize a particular time or space, because my plans are often thwarted. I assume I will have to maintain similar flexibility once I have my daughter. 

I actually find that I produce my best work on days where I am home alone with my children. There is something about the work of motherhood that really stimulates my writing. Maybe there's a kind of desperation I feel in the tedium of picking up toys, negotiating fights, making and cleaning up meals. Motherhood is so embodied, and writing is so cerebral. There's something about being forced out of my head for a bit that makes me long to head back into that quiet, creative space. 

What helps you make time and space for being creative? How do you avoid burnout?

I give myself breaks. I know I am a consistent person. I have shown I can hit deadlines and stick to a writing routine. So if I do not have a deadline looming, if I'm feeling burnt out, I try to make sure creativity is not a should. I want to keep it within the realm of pleasure. 

I also use most of my freelancing income to farm out much of my domestic work. Grocery delivery. GrubHub. House cleaning. I can't be everything to everyone. Once I started pitching and selling essays, I realized I couldn't do all the things. I had to choose where I wanted to funnel my time and energy. I could take an afternoon to write an essay to earn a couple hundred dollars, or I could go grocery shopping. Right now, I'm choosing the essay writing -- and this means that I often use the money I earn to pay for grocery delivery. 

What's inspiring you outside of your own genre? 

This is still within the realm of writing -- but I take so much creative inspiration from children's picture books. I love a children's book that is a bit dark, unsettling, and weird -- without it seeming that way, necessarily, to a child. I love anything by Margaret Wise Brown. I've always been totally captivated by Alice in Wonderland. I love Corduroy, which explores attachment and loneliness in this really compelling way. So, reading to my children often also serves the purpose of growing my own creative practice. 

What's your favorite super easy creative practice to do when you're looking for fresh ideas? 

I go for walks. Take baths. Make visual art with my kids. Play piano. 

What mothers inspire you? Who should I interview next?

I'm inspired by mother-writers like Allegra Goodman. She's so prolific, and her prose is gorgeous, and she wrote many books while raising a large family. I also take many cues from my mother-colleagues, people like my friends Kelli and Rachael, who love their kids fiercely while still pursuing their passions. I am inspired by women who lift up other mothers chasing their dreams without perpetuating the narrative that moms can (or should) do it all. 

What would you bring to a favorites party?

Pumpkin cheesecake cookies from Target. Lush bath bombs. 8 Sheep Organics peppermint lip balm. A novel by Ottessa Moshfegh or Melissa Broder. 

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Anna Rollins

is a mom living in Huntington, West Virginia. She has two sons (ages 7 and 4), and she is expecting a daughter in February 2024. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Slate, Salon, Electric Literature, and Joyland, among other outlets. Her forthcoming memoir, Famished, explores the intersection of purity culture and diet culture. Her Substack discusses writing and publishing. You can follow her on Instagram at @annajrollins.   

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Hi! I’m Heidi. Writer. Editor. Mother. I’m interviewing 100 creative mothers, because I believe the more we see other mothers making beauty and meaning in small moments, the more we will be inspired to make our own kind of art, whatever that may look like during this intense season of life. Support the project by sharing with a friend.